This blog began as a place for me to journal family events, and share with my family and friends, yet it has become a bit more than that, recently. I began blogging for Mamavation, and it has been taking the focus from family to fitness...so, I have been considering the possibility of starting an additional blog, dedicated to my journey to a healthier happier me. Well, I started typing in possible urls for my new blog, but most of them were taken. My curiosity caused me to read some of those blogs, mostly about living a healthier life. Every single one of them had been abandoned and quite possibly forgotten by the owner. Some had begun in 2005, some in 2007, you get the picture...but the one thing I noticed about all of them was that there were only a couple of posts. That first post about starting a new life, in which they were going to take better care of themselves, eat better, change their habits, etc, etc...you get the point. None of them had many comments, if any, which I found to be very heart-breaking...here were these bloggers, putting their thoughts and dreams on the internet, for anyone to read, and from the looks of it, nobody was reading...and if they were, they were certainly not giving any encouragement or kudos where I felt it was needed. I commented on one, to see if the person is even still checking their own blog, and if so, how they are doing, since they have stopped blogging about their journey. What happens to these blogs? Do they sit, incomplete, for eternity? Do their owners ever come back to them? Or have they given up? Maybe they have moved on to another blogsite, or have purchased their own domain name? Whatever the case, I was very sad to see them sitting there, begging to be fulfilled with tales of the journey that was promised. I would have loved to have used one of those blog urls for my own journey, but there it sits, neglected and alone, and as I suspect, abandoned, along with the promises of a new life for the author. Part of me wants to send them all a message, asking them if they have given up, and part of me wants to request that they relinquish their url for others to use...Is that so bad? To be expected to give up your blog that you have left sitting, unattended, for several years? So that someone who is JUST starting their journey can bring new life and new dreams to it? Read more...

First things first, today's number is back down to the number from 2 weeks ago. 161.8# Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to not let it get me down that I had "gained" .8#...I KNOW that fluctuations are not abnormal during diet change, but for some reason, I was focusing SO HARD on the number, when I know I shouldn't have been!

I know some people don't like to do a food diary...trust me, neither do I...but it really does help. I could cheat, and write something I know is not true, or I can be upfront with you (which is what I choose to do), and just tell you like it is...regardless of what I put into my mouth. My logging it is what makes me conscious of what is going into my mouth, and makes me question before eating (most times), as well as helps me see where it is that I am lacking in the nutritional chioces. Also helps me notice where I am skipping meals, which is my biggest issue. I am skipping less meals, but still not eating the BEST...but that is all about to get a lot better! That's another post, though, and for now, I am going to get this one done, and let you see! Just keep checking back for some super exciting stuff soon! SERIOUSLY! My Food/Activity were as follows: Saturday, 22AUG09 B: jamba juice smoothie (strawberries wild w/daily vit. boost) split lg with hubby. L: chicken sandwich (McD's--hubby's choice...not a fan!) D: Trader Joe's Pesto Tortellini Bowl (was NOT as good as the picture looked) Fluids: Coffee, water, hot tea, lemonade Activity: typical, mall-walking Sunday, 23AUG09 B: None L: chicken nugget/ff leftovers (kids McD's leftovers) D: grilled chicken, steak, corn on the cob Fluids: coffee, hot tea, monster, water Activity: yardwork, playtime Monday, 24AUG09 B: crm of wheat, made with milk L: pb&j SNACK: crackers D: Pizza, 2 pcs lg ravioli (Papa's Pizza...surprisingly yummy) Fluids: water, cranberry & vodka Activity: Playtime Tuesday, 25AUG09 B: none L: leftover slice of pizza D: bowl of fresh fruit Fluids: water Activity: typical Wednesday, 26AUG09 B: none L: pb&j D: didn't eat the pizza. No interest in eating. *D: small piece of homemade cake (nephew's bday!) Fluids: water, soda (yes, I did...had diet pepsi...of a flavored variety...whatever FIL had in fridge) Activity: playtime Thursday, 27Aug09 B: none L: Firehouse PB: chicken & brie sandwich w/fruit bowl (and a few fries from my kids!) D: none Fluids: water, coffee, iced tea with Splenda Activity: My norm. Friday, 28AUG09 B: none L: none D: Grilled cheese, pickle Fluids: water, corona (1) Activity: Toddler-wearing, pushed stroller (ugh...along with speed-walking), mall-walking Read more...

Some days, I have to take a moment to reflect on what I have, and how LUCKY I am to have it...and those days, I am reminded again what NOT to take for granted. We spent some time at the park, as a family, this past weekend, and here are some of the shots I got of the ones I love most! And yes, Pickle, you DO make my heart SUPER-HAPPY! Read more...

I am working on getting my food intake journal and activity log up on here, for the past week, but in the meantime, please watch my vlog to hear about my goals for this week! Wow, the way the screen stops is ghastly! Wish you could change that! lol. Total dork-face look! Oh well! Read more...

There are so many things in my life that I find "hard" to do...but when I sit back and think about it, I want to ask myself "Is it REALLY that hard?" Honestly, I don't think so, all said and done, but I have so many crutches that I have developed over the years, that I have MADE it THAT hard! I accept that my failures are just that...MY failures. My failure to stand up for myself, and demand nothing less than the best for ME. This isn't about any one aspect of my life, it's about EVERYTHING in my life. When you stop valuing yourself as a person, you begin to settle, and then you settle IN, get lazy, or comfy, whatever word you want to use will work, but you are settling either way. I feel like I have done this exact thing. Allowed myself to settle for an unhealthy lifestyle, where I learned to make excuses about anything and everything, in order NOT to do anything. Instead of being the motivated person I once was, I have gradually become this massive LUMP on a log, with no inclination towards anything specific. Don't get me wrong, I have tried to make changes over the years, and STOP this horrible self-sabotage, but for some reason, I never seemed to follow through. I like to think this time, I am following through, but if I am going to be honest here, there is still a HUGE part of me that doesn't think I have what it takes. There is, however, this itsy bitsy part of me that says I have been underestimated, not just by others, but by myself. I am a strong woman, somewhere, deep down, hiding beneath this weak shell...just waiting to be found again. Sometimes, she shows through in little victories, but more often than not, I keep her hidden, smothering her with my self-doubt. I know it is time to rescue her from the wreckage, clean her up, and put her back up on her pedestal, where she belongs. It really can't be that hard to do, can it? REALLY? Read more...

Both of my children have been boycotting naps on a regular basis, these days. They will fight it until they pass out of sheer exhaustion...LITERALLY! This was one of those moments where I couldn't seem to get the memory stick out of the computer fast enough, and back into the camera to start recording...almost 2 minutes of her eating an entire mini rice cake with her eyes closed, and I was fumbling to get the camera on the right setting, just in time for the last bite...something's better than nothing, right? I couldn't resist sharing her with you! Enjoy! **Tuckered Toddler** I carried her to bed shortly after filming this, and she took a SOLID 3 hour nap! Talk about tuckered! I then pounded a double serving Monster Energy drink to get me through the evening. During that 3 hour nap, I managed to entertain my son with games and tv, while I participated in Chat on MomTV, with the Mamavation crew! After that, I helped hubby get dinner together, which also means I have lunches packed for the week (and possibly part of next week). He grilled chicken and veggies, and cooked some turkey sausages with bell peppers and onions. MMMM....I LOVE BELL PEPPERS!!! I had a chicken breast and grilled veggies (asparagus, zucchini, squash, and garlic) for dinner, along with a double serving Monster Energy (LOW CARB) drink...yes, ANOTHER ONE! What on EARTH was I thinking?!?! Actually, I said..."I already had one, but what the heck!" Seriously, that's what I said. Must've been the brainwashing from the other can. We wore the kids out and put them to bed, and then I cracked the whip...I forced my hubby to get off his booty and help me move the elliptical out of the back room, into the living room, where it will serve as a constant reminder of my goals, and a tool in REACHING those goals. No, there are no cords or cables for my children to hang themselves on it, and I desperately hope they don't hurt themselves in any other way on this torturous device. Read more...

I am going to post vlogs randomly, about whatever strikes me at that moment...this morning, just being about this morning...ha! I need to practice my camera presence, and could use some feedback from YOU! Read more...

My journey is beginning. My most sincere Congratulations to Mommy Maria...and my continued support. She is almost done with her first week of being the 1st Mamavation Mom, and she has had a grueling schedule, and diet change. And she has been an absolute trooper through this past week. She has been posting her food plan, food diary, and exercise plan, and even with all the additions to her already busy schedule, she has not neglected her blog, which I love to follow and read! I made commitments and set goals, that I intend to fulfill, even though I didn't become the Mamavation Mom. I am still working on them, and I still need everyone to support me through this journey. I am following along with Maria, on her journey, but am also creating my own journey...one that includes my friends and family. I have invited my local mommy friends to join me on BookieBoo...and I have created 2 new groups on BookieBoo, one for LOCAL mommies who are "Getting Fit In San Diego", and one for Pedometer-wearing mommies who are "Stepping It UP!". I have also JUST NOW started a group for Diabetic Mommas & At Risk Mommas Diabetes Prevention. I invite you, if you are Diabetic or At Risk of Developing Diabetes, to come join this group, and share your stories and support! If you haven't been to my blog before, feel free to browse around and read more about me! Follow me, leave me comments, add me to your blogroll, and introduce yourself to me! I love meeting new people, and making new friends, so don't be shy! Read more...