Will you remember me with a smile,
regardless of whether we'd spoken in a while?
Will you remember me in a good way,
as one who'd been fun and full of play?
Will you praise the things I have done,
If you remember me when I've gone?
Will you share with them my reflection,
When my children seek answers to life's questions?
~A. Starkey
Have you thought about how you would be remembered by those who knew you in your life?
I have thought about it here and there, throughout my life, but over the past couple of years, with the passing of some very special people in my life, it has been taunting me more and more. Most of the lives that have touched me before their departure, I remember with a smile, and quite often, a few tears. Tears over never again sharing a special moment with them, or tears over a very special moment shared in their presence...just tears. And more tears. Because it hurts so much to miss them this way, and not hear their voice reassuring me that it's all going to be okay.
There are others whose lives I have wished I could touch, but the timing and sometimes even the PERSON were not right for this to happen. There are lives I touched just for a brief moment, and then the moment ended. Some of the briefest of encounters have affected me more deeply than some that I have been in contact with for extensive amounts of time.
I have no idea how each of the people I've met will remember me, but I hope they will remember me fondly, and with a smile.
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I've experienced this quite a bit, lately. Not just with Pickle's impending 4th birthday! I am learning not to plan much these days. It seems every time I have something...or multiple things planned, something happens to spoil my plans. In February, I decided that March was going to be such a calm month, I was going to plan a few things to do...a little organizing party for a small group, outings with the kids, projects that I've been wanting to finish. What I wasn't planning for, was to be grieving the loss of a family member, or sitting in the ER for 6 hours, with both kids in tow, after Pickle had his 2nd Febrile Seizure, or the 2 weeks of staying home that we endured while BOTH kids fought off nasty viruses!
Now that things are calming down again, (or is it just an illusion?) I am hoping to catch back up over the next couple of weeks, and get back into the swing of things...and the swing of spring!
We've had some rather interesting weather, lately, and yesterday's earthquake definitely put us all on alert. We were also sent jumping out of our shaking bed at 415a this morning, as more earthquake activity occurred. I've always complained about not having a lot of pictures and decorations on the walls, but after yesterdays shaker, I was relieved that there was nothing to fall on the kids, as our house shake, rattled, and rolled! You can bet your buns I will be making some changes to our decorative shelving unit this week, as well! It was the sound of glass ornaments and vases shaking around and bumping into each other that alerted me to the beginnings of the rumbling that sent me scrambling for the kids and shooing them outside, where Daddy was in the yard, planting new flowers in our garden. There, I got to watch my SUV shake like it had been taken over by a couple of lust-stricken teenagers, all while the ground rolled beneath me, and kept me from quite catching my balance. This was not my first quake...I've lived in California for nearly 15 years, now...but it was the first one that put even a hint of fear into me. Mostly a fear of not being able to get my kids to safety quickly enough. And a reminder that we need to have a plan, in the event of a natural disaster, and now that the kids are old enough to understand, we need to teach them what to do if something were to happen!
Just when it seems you can sit back and relax, something else sneaks up on you...
So, when you haven't heard from me in a while, and I'm lagging on writing a post or review, please forgive the delays...I'm trying to dig my way through the rubble of all of the little AND BIG things that have been sneaking up on me.
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This year, Pickle will be 4...F-O-U-R...FOUR!!! As you can tell, I'm just a teensy weensy tiny little bit shocked at this news. Seriously, I can't believe it. Honestly, it only feels like yesterday, I was nick-naming the little baby in my belly, and only this morning that I fell in love with his little face. How on EARTH is it possible that it's been 4 whole years?!?!
I am still in love with his face, but it's not so little anymore, and HE'S not so little anymore...he's a full-fledged BOY. Running away from me every chance he gets, tackling his sister and making her cry, kissing her and soothing her when she is sad, conspiring with her to do something "forbidden", eating like he's never going to see food again, then refusing to eat the same foods he couldn't get enough of the day before. The list goes on, but really, you get the point...he is ALL BOY, and I am so proud of my little boy.
I remember taking him to see The Wiggles LIVE when they came to San Diego in April of 2008. He was so entranced by the show, and I spent most of the show in utter amazement of HIM. Don't get me wrong, I saw the show too, but I spent a large part watching his face light up, and watching the display of his emotions, as he watched the show, then, the disappointment as the show ended, and he watched the performers leave the stage, and NOT return! The performance was great, and we enjoyed all of the dancing and singing, and watching The Wiggles drive around in their Big Red Car! To be honest, I was sad to see the evening come to an end, as well. It was our first "date" night since Rayna had been born, and it was such a great bonding moment for us.
Even now, we still make time to do "date" nights, just Ryan and Mommy. As a matter of fact, our next night out is well over-due. I've been looking forward to taking him for lunch, then a movie, followed by an extra special trip to get some yummy frozen yogurt to bring home and share with Daddy and Rayna!
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